There I sat, staring at my not even half-done to do list. I hadn't accomplished half of what I'd planned to. I had numerous emails left unanswered in my inbox. And I was done. I had no more energy or desire to do anything else. Screw it. Just screw it.
I was grumpy and irritated and pissed and all the bad feels. So, naturally, when Josh called to chat honeymoon, I was rude. I was short and off-putting. So, we got off of the phone slightly irritated with each other, and I was even more grumpy and pissed than five minutes before.
What the heck is going on?!
My mind was racing and I couldn't figure out why I felt the way I did. I've been working on better understanding the reasons behind my emotions lately. So, rather than just feeling pissed and wallowing in my madness, I try to understand why I'm actually mad in the first place. It's not always the easiest thing to do. Sometimes I'd prefer to just be pissed. But, honestly, it's been one of the best things for me and my relationships. Understanding the why behind what you're feeling is one of the best things you can do for yourself. And everyone around you.
So, I took a breath, cuddled the pup (#allthelove), and started trying to understand why I felt so grumpy and pissed and irritated. I realized it had nothing to do with work. It had nothing to do with Josh or the honeymoon. And it had everything to do with me. So, naturally I Instagrammed about it and then called Josh immediately after. Our convo went a little something like this ...
Lauren: I'm sorry about it earlier. It wasn't you, it was me.
Josh: I'm sorry, too.
Lauren: You have nothing to apologize for. I was short and rude, and it had nothing to do with you. I had an expectation hangover and was taking my frustrations out on you.
Josh: An expectation hangover?
Lauren: Yes, I just wrote about it on Instagram. Go read it.
Ah, the joys of marrying an online entrepreneur! :)
Expectation hangovers SUCK! They're the worst. And if you haven't experienced one before, it's because you haven't taken the time to stop blaming everyone around you long enough to step back and examine what the heck is going on (I can say that because 'been there, done that'!). In case you're still wondering what this "expectation hangover" is all about ... you can read about it on Instagram HERE!