Afternoons are the worst. You start doubting all of the big, beautiful dreams you woke up with in the morning. You start berating yourself like your 10-years-younger little sister. And you begin to question everything - your worth, your intelligence, your abilities, your talents, what you have to say, the importance of your work.
"I can't do this."
"Why would anyone want to hear anything that I have to say?"
"They don't care."
"This is really hard. Maybe I should just give up while I'm ahead."
"Don't make a fool of yourself, Lauren."
"You don't really have what it takes."
Yes, I'm confident. Yes, I love inspiring others. Yes, I chase my big, scary dreams ... sometimes. But that doesn't mean I don't have my own dump truck full of doubts and insecurities that follows me around every day. It sucks. I hate feeling that way. I hate questioning the beautiful dreams that bloomed from my heart. I hate belittling myself and questioning my abilities ... that I darn well know I have and know how to use really well.
But I'm human ... which means that I'm not immune to these negative thoughts. They creep in, despite my colorful, inspirational-quote-loving attempts to keep them at bay. And when they do creep in, I give myself a good 10 seconds to wallow in my own pity party (let's be honest; it feels good sometimes). But after those 10 seconds, it's done. It's over. The pity party must end, and I force myself to get up, do a little dance, shout how amazingly awesome and wonderful and oh so talented I am from the rooftops, grab an inspirational coffee mug (because they always help), and go read or watch something inspiring.
Inspiration doesn't always fly directly towards us. Most of the time, we have to get out of bed and go out in search of it. Then, we have to bring it home and fill our homes and offices and tiny spaces with it. We have to surround ourselves with so much truth and inspiration that it's hard to wake up and wallow. Now, I'm not talking about some weird, colorful Dr. Seuss type of reality (though Dr. Seuss is my fave, and I would love nothing more than to live inside of one of his books). I'm talking about your home, right now. Fill it up with anything and everything that inspires you. Then when those doubts creep in, look around you, and find inspiration in all that surrounds you.
For me, that means filling my home up with lots and lots of colors, all of the pretty patterns, coffee mugs with inspirational quotes and sayings, pictures of things that inspire me, framed quotes on my walls, more inspirational quotes, and another bucket of color.