"I'm tired of dying little by little every day. I want to spend my days doing things that bring me alive! I want to live!!"
I may have watched a super-sappy-romantic heartbreak-kind-of movie today and cried my heart out, which led to this sob fest of life-altering realizations (see above). But Nicholas Spark's newest release was just what the doctor ordered. Speaking of doctor's orders .. the sick train hit me something fierce this morning and I've spent the entire day on the couch. Most of it I spent sleeping, but I woke up at lunch to some soup and a redbox thanks to le fiance. And a Nicholas Sparks induced ugly cry was just. what. I. needed.
I'm burnt out. There. I said it. I've been burning my candle like a torch and my body finally had enough. Sick. There. Now I'm forced to lay on the couch, put away the computer, sleep, sleep, sleep, and rest. Our bodies are miraculous things that have a way of reminding us what we need most and putting us in our place. And sappy romance movies can have miraculous powers of turning our lives around, saying what we've needed to hear all along and re-routing our lives (no? Ok. Maybe just me.).
In typical Nicholas Sparks fashion, the couple ends up together against all odds ... and one nearly dies. Spoiler alert. But as I'm watching their story play out in front of me, it hit me hard that life is so short. It's so freaking short. And for most of us, we're spending our days doing things that are slowly killing the life within us ... leaving us feeling empty, unfulfilled, and more dead than alive.
Because that's what we should be doing. And that's what they expect us to do.
Maybe so. Or maybe this is your life and all of those should's and expectations are just lousy excuses that your using as shields against you're fears.
I want to start living. I want to spend my days doing things that make me MORE ALIVE than I was yesterday. I want to live.
We get to choose how we spend our days. Too often, we write these long lists of excuses in our heads for why we're doing what we're doing and why we can't just change that and why we're destined to live this miserable subpar existence.
But we're wrong. That is not life. And we deserve a life that brings us more alive.
Regardless of the big questions and answers that involve why and how we got here, what the meaning of this life is, and what this all means ... regardless of what you believe and who you believe in (or not), I think we can all agree that there's more to this life than wasting away in a miserable job (or days) that leaves us feeling miserable. There's more to life than dying slowly, day by day, feeling completely overwhelmed, yet utterly empty.
And I'm ready for more. I'm ready to create the life that I deserve to live. I'm ready to take control of my days and spend them doing things that bring me alive. I'm ready to live.