It's easy to find meaning in the big, bright, beautiful moments in life ... like having a baby, getting married, celebrating a birthday, waking up Christmas morning. It's also pretty easy to find meaning in the dark, heavy, sorrow-filled moments ... like death, the ending of a relationship, tragedy ... because in these moments we're reminded of the things in life that mean the most and juxtaposed beside sadness and grief, we feel deep gratitude and love ... for what was, what is, and what's to come.
It's the moments in between where meaning is lost, though ... we're not overwhelmed by gratitude or love but we're not burdened by sadness or grief either. It's those day-to-day moments ... waking up, snoozing the alarm clock, getting out of bed, taking a shower, fixing breakfast, rushing out the door, kissing him/her goodbye, waiting in traffic, grabbing a coffee at Starbucks, working, picking up the kids, sitting at your desk, driving home, fixing dinner, sitting outside, reading a book, washing the dishes ... it's in the seemingly insignificant moments where meaning is lost and emptiness thrives.
I'm learning that it's in these moments when I feel the most empty ... the most void of meaning and life. I feel like my colors have dulled and I'm slowly fading away. Do you know what's interesting, though? I'm also learning that in the moments of great meaning (high highs filled with happiness and low lows filled with sadness), the things that give those moments meaning are these seemingly insignificant moments.
Waking up Christmas morning, I can't help but feel gratitude for getting out of bed and taking a shower. As I'm preparing to get married (t minus 20 days!), I can't help but acknowledge the small, quiet (seemingly insignificant) moments and memories with Josh that make me love him so very much. And when I first experienced the heavy sorrow of death, all I could remember was the way she smiled .. at nothing, in the moments in between .. and the way she held her cup .. that gave that life, and those memories, so much meaning in my heart.
I'm not sure what the meaning of this great life is. I don't have all of the answers. But whatever the reason we're here writing our stories, I believe that these seemingly insignificant moments, the moments in between, are small opportunities, over and over and over again, to slow down and find meaning. It's not hidden. It's right before our eyes ... every day. In every moment.